about... blurred grey (Clip Studio Paint, 2021-2022)
I started this drawing this in June 2021. It was quite an ambitious project because
I had not drawn anything this long before. I usually draw in a standard display
ratio (vertical or horizontal). For this drawing, I wanted to draw something that
conveyed my view of the world. The person in the middle is not a representation of
me, but rather someone that is a blank canvas. The blank canvas of a person can be
projected onto by the viewer.
I often have a difficult time with perception. Some days I can experience things
clearly but many days I have extreme brain fog and I cannot comprehend 100% of
the things that are going on around me. With that my emotions are also quite
clouded and making sense of what I'm experiencing, what I'm feeling, what I want
to do is always a challenge.
However, I'd like to think that my world is very rich and colorful. I like to
surround myself with the things that I like and the things that make me happy. It
helps that I always have those things around me to keep me grounded.
However, because of the ambitious topic of my drawing as well as a new aspect ratio,
I took a break from the drawing for a very long time. I worked on it for quite a bit
during summer 2021 going into the fall, and then I experienced a lot of mental health
struggles which discouraged me from continuing. I would occassionally open the file
to see if I could continue with it to no avail. Today, I decided to try and finish
the drawing that I left in the back of my head for so long.
The writing/poem that begins in the center star is a good representation of what
I was trying to convey. It's not a direct writing of what I feel often times, but
is cryptic and vague enough to communicate an experience to the viewer.
